Wilt

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August 14, 2011 by markstani

(This is the latest in my series of short stories based on the Olympic sports):

Write clearly in blue or black ink only.

1. In your own words, introduce your hero:

My hero is Wilt Chamberlain. Wilton Norman “Wilt” Chamberlain (August 21, 1936 – October 12, 1999) was an American professional NBA basketball player for the Philadelphia/San Francisco Warriors, the Philadelphia 76ers and the Los Angeles Lakers; he also played for the Harlem Globetrotters prior to playing in the NBA. The 7 foot 1 inch Chamberlain weighed 250 pounds as a rookie[1] before bulking up to 275 pounds and eventually over 300 pounds with the Lakers.[2] He played the center position and is considered by his contemporaries as one of the greatest and most dominant players in the history of the NBA.[2][3]

2. Why have you chosen your hero? What makes him or her special to you? You might begin by describing their qualities and/or achievements:

Wilt Chamberlain is my hero because he is the best basketball player in the history of the world. He played for the Harlem Globetrotters who have never lost a match. They bounce the ball through other players’ legs and spin it on their fingers for ages. They can get the ball in the basket from anywhere on the court. The other team never even get to touch the ball. Wilt Chamberlain was even taller than Gavin Bowes, who is the tallest boy in our school. Even though he is tall Gavin Bowes is rubbish at basketball. When we played shirts and skins he refused to take his shirt off because he is so weedy and he didn’t want the girls to laugh. Also Wilt Chamberlain is my hero because he was rich. He got paid millions of pounds which meant he could buy whatever he wanted without saving up. He built a mansion with loads of swimming pools in it. Also, he had a car called the Chamberlain Searcher I. It was even better than a Lamborghini Countach. It was built by the same man who built James Bond’s car. If I could build my own car it would have tank wheels and a swimming pool in the back, and a turbo button that made the top bit lift off and become the fastest car in the world. It would be called the Super Turbo Sensation I. Also, he is my hero because he had twenty thousand girlfriends. I have worked out that if you have 20,000 girlfriends and go out with each one of them for one day it would take you fifty five years to go out with all of them. This would be rubbish because the ones who waited for fifty five years would be really old by the time you went out with them so you wouldn’t want to. There are only about two hundred girls in my school so I couldn’t have twenty thousand girlfriends even if I wanted them. There are about ten girls in my school who I would want as my girlfriend. In order they are Kristy Fewkes, Kayleigh Sibson, Rachel Mackley, Tammy Hawker, Lizzie Barnes, Charlotte Hemming, Jade Ellis, Claire Purvis, Debbie Bullock and Sadie Roberts. If you are a famous basketball player you can pick any girl in the world. If I could pick any girl in the world to be my girlfriend I would pick one from the Caribbean so I could go and visit and lie on the beach drinking coconuts. There was a film called Mutiny On The Bounty once where you could see girls with their tops off.

3. Put yourself in the position of your hero for a day. Write a first-person account of a day in the life of your hero. You might describe the best and worst bits about being your hero. An example of a first-person account could be: ‘I woke up early to prepare for the concert I was due to give in the city that evening’.

I woke up early to prepare for the match I was due to play in the city that evening. It was nearly dinner time but it didn’t matter. When I went downstairs Kristy Fewkes and Kayleigh Sibson were standing there in the nude because they had just got out of the shower. Except they didn’t scream or run off, they just stood thereand said hello. They made my breakfast for me while they were still in the nude. It was pancakes and double chocolate muffins. Then I went out and told them to wait there in the nude. I went to the sports car shop and bought a Chamberlain Searcher II. It was like the Chamberlain Searcher I except it was even faster and it had a secret turbo button that could make it fly. The man in the shop said it was too expensive because it cost ten million pounds. I got ten million pounds out of my pocket and gave it to him and drove off. I drove to the basketball stadium where the Harlem Globetrotters were playing Russia in a match to decide who the world champions would be. Because I was so busy flying around in my new car I was a bit late. When I got there the Harlem Globetrotters were losing 80-20 with five minutes to go. It was going to be the first time the Harlem Globetrotters had ever lost a match. I scored loads of baskets to make it 80-80 with five seconds to go but then a Russian player tricked the referee and did a foul and scored to make it 83-80. It looked like Russia were going to win but I got the ball from under the basket and threw it the whole way up the court and it went in with one second to go, and the Harlem Globetrotters won 84-83. The buzzer went and everyone jumped on me and said it was the best basketball match they had ever seen. After we went back to my mansion for a party and Kristy Fewkes and Kayleigh Sibson were still there in the nude. I rang up Rachel Mackley, Tammy Hawker, Lizzie Barnes, Charlotte Hemming, Jade Ellis, Claire Purvis, Debbie Bullock and Sadie Roberts and got them to come and they all got in the nude too. We all went in the swimming pool for ages then I went to bed.

4. Conclusion. Do you think your hero is happy? Would you have enjoyed being your hero?

I would have enjoyed being Wilt Chamberlain because he was great at basketball and rich and all the girls fancied him. Except Wilt Chamberlain is now dead. If I was as rich as Wilt Chamberlain I would have invented a pill that makes you live for ever. Wilt Chamberlain did not have time to do this because he had twenty thousand girlfriends. This is another reason why having ten girlfriends would have been better.

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