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July 31, 2011 by markstani

This is the latest in my series of stories loosely based on the Olympic sports. It’s a work in progress.



SPLASHDOWN PROMOTIONS ™, in association with GREAT WHITE ENTERTAINMENT ™ and sponsored by SHARK TOOTH ™ – THE BEER WITH BITE ™, JAWZ ™ – THE GUM THAT KEEPS ON GIVING ™ and THE BLOOD GUYS ™ – TRANSFUSION AT THE TOUCH OF A BUTTON ™ – proudly announces that the brand new LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™ will host the inaugural BITE NIGHT: MAN V SHARK ™ WATER POLO CLASSIC on Saturday July 10.

This electrifying encounter, which has captured the attention of the sporting world, will be streamed across the globe by SPLASHDOWN TV beginning at 1800PT/2100ET/0200GMT for a pay-per-view price of USD95 at 1-800-SPLASHDOWN.
Tickets, priced at USD950, USD550, USD250, USD150 and USD100 GO ON SALE Tuesday March 16 at 1200PT/1500ET/2000GMT, and can be purchased at the LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™ box office, through Ticketseller charge by phone (1-800-SPLASHDOWNTIX), and online at

‘We are very excited to present BITE NIGHT: MAN V SHARK ™,’ said Ramiro Sanchez, executive vice-president, SPLASHDOWN PROMOTIONS ™. ‘It is what the world has been waiting for. Pitting the best of humanity against the pride of the animal kingdom guarantees a classic you will not want to miss.’
‘We can think of no better way to mark the grand opening of the LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™ than with this contest which will showcase the very best sub-aqua talent in all its savage glory,’ said Tony Di Santo, senior vice president LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™. ‘Here at the LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™, the world’s biggest and brightest centre of aquatic entertainment, we are elated to play this historic event.’

The LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™, situated right at the heart of the world-famous Strip in fabulous Las Vegas, Nev; is one of the most uniquely designed structures on earth. The 85-storey facility includes a full-size replica of the Niagara Falls and offers guests the chance to take an exhilarating SPLASH DOME BARREL RIDE ™ from top to bottom. Tickets, priced at USD95 (USD45 minors) can be purchased at the LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™ box office. The LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™ also includes the world’s tallest and fastest water slide, the 200-foot DEATH DIVE ™, the world’s largest wave pool, the TSUNAMI ™ at 360 feet wide by eight hundred feet long, and THE DROWN POOL ™, a 45,000-seater sports and entertainment arena. The LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™ pumps thirty-five million gallons of water daily.

An all-star line-up of celebrities is already confirmed to jet in for BITE NIGHT: MAN V SHARK ™. They include Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Michael J Fox, Denzel Washington, Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, Sugar Ray Leonard, Pete Sampras, LeBron James, Brett Favre, Simon Cowell, Cat Deeley and Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer Simpson. Half-time entertainment will be provided by a specially created super-group of past AMERICAN IDOL ™ winners, ONE TIME ONLY ™. Streamed exclusively live across the globe by SPLASHDOWN TV, pay-per-view subscribers can view this extraordinary ‘ONE TIME ONLY ™’ concert for an additional pay-per-view charge of USD45 at 1-800-SPLASHDOWN.

BITE NIGHT: MAN V SHARK ™ pits a worldwide team of water polo superstars against a specially-trained squad of great white sharks in a clash which will determine the first truly global champions in sports history and generate a ten million dollar cash prize.
‘We’ve been hearing how the animal kingdom is faster and stronger for long enough,’ said two-time Olympic medallist, three-time World League Most Valuable Player and six-time American Collegiate champion Travis Benton, who will lead the worldwide team. ‘We are grateful for this chance to put things straight.’
Two-time Olympic champion and with three World League titles the most decorated player in the sport’s history, Attila Kovacs of Hungary, said: ‘We are prepared for the greatest challenge of our lives. The sharks are strong and fierce, but on July 10 you will witness something special.’

The worldwide team will be coached by America’s all-time great water polo coach, Johnny ‘Deep’ Downes. Johnny Downes, 71, has coached eleven American Collegiate champions and three US Olympic medal-winning teams. ‘Water polo is my passion, and the chance to raise its profile in front of a global audience is too good an opportunity to miss,’ said Downes. ‘It is an honor for me to be asked to coach a team of such incredible athletes. Truly, when victory comes on July 10 in front of the watching world at the LAS VEGAS SPLASH DOME ™, it will be the highlight of my career.’

The sharks will be trained by the world’s foremost expert on dangerous animals, Tommy ‘One Arm’ Gibson. Tommy Gibson’s syndicated television programme, TOMMY GIBSON’S AMAZING ANIMAL FEATS ™, has enthralled millions of television viewers in over 100 countries around the world. He has wrestled crocodiles and ridden bears. In 2002, he became the first man in history to be swallowed by a blue whale and survive. ‘The great white is the stuff of legend,’ said Gibson founder and president of GREAT WHITE ENTERTAINMENT ™. ‘It is the most ferocious mammal on the planet. With water polo’s reputation as one of the most violent sports in the world, it is entirely fitting that the legendary great white should get the chance to prove itself in what is truly a match made in heaven.’
Gibson trawled the world’s oceans for a crack team of sharks and trained them in a top-secret facility off the coast of Malibu, California. Their first trial match against a team of dolphins on May 15 broke pay-per-view records for multi-mammal programming with over one million buys on SPLASHDOWN TV ™. Tape-delayed footage of the contest, dubbed BRAWN V BRAINS ™ and presented by SPLASHDOWN PROMOTIONS ™ in association with GREAT WHITE ENTERTAINMENT ™, made headlines around the world as the sharks ran out 10-0 winners in what top US sports commentator Zack Ryder described on ESPN as ‘one of the most gruesomely one-sided spectacles in the history of sports entertainment.’
‘When they smell blood, there’s no stopping them,’ said Gibson. ‘It will be the same result on July 10.’


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